This week I flew to Denver for an International
Ministries Information Weekend (IIW) through Young Life- my favorite thing in
the world, tied for 1st with my dog. Before my trip, I may or may not have
spent X-amount of money on silly things, like a birthday party with excessive
decorations for my roommate. And by may or may not, I mean that I totally blew
most of my money for the month. When I arrived in Denver I planned to wonder
the city for 2 days before heading to the IIW. I was gong to spend minimal money
(because I didn't have much) on food and such before the weekend started. I
referred to myself as "kinda bumming around" to my friends and family
who asked why I went 2 days early.
Things I spent money on:
-Bus fare
-Coffee (a lot of coffee)
-2 beers
-1 banana
-1 bagel without cream cheese (that was extra $)
-Buffalo chicken egg rolls
-1 concert ticket
-1 t-shirt
-1 burrito bowl from Qdoba
And this was my idea of "bumming it."
As
I wondered around, I walked past numerous homeless people. I'm not positive
that they were homeless, but they fell under the homeless category based on
their physical appearance. I judged them, I'm sorry. Most of them were begging
for change at the 16th Street Mall or Coors Field, and I saw plenty of people
sleeping in, what I assumed was, their only clothes.
And I am over here "bumming it" as the
privileged white girl wearing the newest Patagonia and Marmot attire and
sporting a sweet Dueter pack. What the heck is wrong with me? Bumming
it? Hardly.
Background: currently I am being heavily influenced
by my good friend Jen Hatmaker (never met her, but I have read a couple of her
books and follow her on Insta), my hippie roommate Beckie, and Jesus. All three
have been pointing out the excess in my life and in the lives around me. Jen
wrote the book Seven, Beckie is mimicking Jen's experiment from her
book, and Jesus is just pressing on my heart. As I stood in line at Qdoba with
my last $12 in my pocket, I found myself thinking about how little money I
currently had and was feeling bad for myself. How would I buy a 16oz Americano
tomorrow morning? And then it hit me. I have become seriously consumed in my
own excess that I could not even see past the end of my nose. I was having pity
on myself for only having $12 and being one phone call away (on my iPhone 6s) from
getting permission to use my parents’ credit card while people were sleeping on
the streets of Denver around me. Not Texas, where it drops to a nice 75 degrees
at night. Denver- 48 degrees. I have totally underestimated how blind I am to
the world and the needs of the world. My heart deeply hurts for the poor, the
lost, and the broken. But I'm sitting here poor in spirit, lost in this life,
and broken for people that I don't know how to help.
Jen Hatmaker wrote in her book Seven,
"We cannot carry the gospel to the poor and lowly while emulating the practices of the rich and powerful. "
Beckie says everything I want to say a million
times better than I could say it:
"Precious people, you have inspired me. I want to have a lesser connection to material possessions and a deeper connection to knowledge, wisdom, and our God. You are clarifying for me what a life that is not centered on how much [stuff] I have looks like. Precious people, I am praying for you. I miss you and I love you so much. Precious people, you are making a difference in the life of a twenty-something in Texas. I weep for you thinking your stomachs are growling, your heads are aching, your muscles are fatiguing, AND I WEEP BECAUSE ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS BINGE WATCHING NETFLIX. I want to be more like you, precious people."
(Beckie's amazing blog
at: https://restlessandactuating.wordpress.com/category/4/)
